No Adequate Words

I couldn't sleep tonight. So, I laid in bed for awhile trying to convince my husband to give me a back rub. Then when he started snoring I put the kitchen dishes away and completed a few tasks for our trip in the morning. I soon found myself sitting on the floor next to my little guys bed...tears filled my eyes as my heart became overwhelmed with the gift that God has given me. I long for him to be a sibling someday; but I suddenly realized-again-that maybe in all my hope and dreaming I'm neglecting to remember that God has given me answered prayer in Klayton. Maybe when those hopes and dreams fill my mind I should fill my hands with extra hugs for my little guy...extra kisses for his sweet cheeks...more I love you's to be said. So often I wish for things and forget that this is the only time I get with my little guy...soon he will be 3, then 20...getting married and the fruit of my labour will be seen by a girl who will have stolen his heart. If I could apologize for moments that I've had with Klayton yet I've spent them longing for another child to be added to our little family, or even those moments where he wants my attention yet I'm busy on my phone... Tonight he doesn't need me to lay beside him; but I need him beside me and I need God to know that this little boy was worth the wait and he's a gift that I'm forever grateful and thankful that God gave to me. I need my little guy to know that I love him more than I thought it possible...and really there are no words to rightfully say to him to let him know how much he means to me!