i'm weird

Tonight I was longing for a nice hot, bubble bath-some time to just sit back and relax. I grabbed some magazines, my phone to play a game with friends and Klayton's bouncer...wait a minute, did I just say "Klayton's bouncer"? Why yes, I did! To me it just doesn't seem right to be away from my babycakes. Joseph was more than willing to watch Klayton so I could have some me time and he did for a little while; but when Klayton was playing with his rattle and blanket, bouncing away I didn't mind that he was there with me-to me he just belongs with me and to have it any other way just seems unnatural. I am not writing this to imply that you are a bad mommy if you need a break from your kids and I'm not saying this to make you feel as if I think its not okay to be away from your children. There have been times in Klayton's short life that I haven't known what to do and I've let Joseph take him while I've had a good cry about my inadequacy as a mother! But, it doesn't take long for me to let Klayton find his way back into my arms and me snuggling him close to my tear stained cheeks and I whisper, "mama still loves you". I don't know if its the fact that we waited a year and a half for God to put him in my tummy or if its me simply honoring my petition to the Lord. I told the Lord many times in my time of waiting that when the day of tears, dirty diapers, vomit came that I would praise Him for it because that would mean I would have a child in my arms. To some I may appear to be a baby hog; for that I don't apologize. I'm learning that these days are quickly passing. Every moment with Klayton in my arms is a moment I may not have tomorrow...tomorrow he might be learning to crawl....tomorrow could be the day when he learns how to hold his bottle just right to get those last drops of milk... Some say that I get him everyday; but I know when the day comes that he's packing up his suitcase to go off to college or when he is at the altar saying, I do that I will be longing and remembering these very days that I have with him now.
I'm choosing to not take for granted this time and I am thankful that I have a baby to share my "me times" with!