Things to Ponder

Do you know how it is to know you shouldn't keep pondering certain thoughts; but you still do? Well, ever since I heard about 4 month old Maddie being taken to heaven, I just can't get her and her family out of my head. I recently started following their blog, It All Started When Two People Fell in Love-you can catch the link on my sidebar. A part of me doesn't want to follow their blog because my heart just aches for them; but then I want to follow it and read it, so I can pray for that family.
I couldn't imagine Klayton being taken away from me. We dedicated Klayton back to the Lord when he was in my belly and again on his first Sunday in church after being born. I know he belongs to the Lord and the Lord has just loaned him to us; but deep down I just keep asking the Lord to not take him from me, EVER! Is it selfish that I think I should be the one in this life to never experience what the Staat family is experiencing now? To carry a child in the womb and then to only hold them in their arms for 4 months doesn't seem long enough; but its 4 months longer than we deserve. If I truly dedicated him to the Lord, I am giving full permission to the Lord to do with Klayton as He pleases...I don't dictate what the Lord can and cannot do with my child or with my life. I have to simply trust in the Lord believing He is doing what is best for my life and for Klayton! I am learning that giving Klayton to the Lord has got to be a daily practice, it is so easy to try and do things my own way. I have to raise Klayton with the Lord in mind.
The Staats have simply reminded me that the people we do have in our lives cannot and should not be taken for granted. I pray that I never take one day with Klayton and my husband for granted. And once again I choose to be thankful for dirty diapers, spit up, fussy nights, days of teething because if I didn't have those I wouldn't have my Klayton! And I will soak in and cherish every smile Klayton gives me, every cuddle, every laugh, every time he grips my finger or plays with my necklace. Thank you Lord for giving me YESTERDAY and TODAY with my baby!