That Little Boy of Mine

Two eyes that shine so bright,
Two lips that kiss goodnight,
Two arms that hold me tight,
That little boy of mine.

No one could ever know how much your coming has meant.
Because I love you so, you're something heaven has sent.

You're all the world to me.
You climb upon my knee.
To me you'll always be,
That little boy of mine.

Happy Birthday

Happy 2nd Birthday! Klayton my life is sweeter with you in it! Thankful that God saw fit to be called your, Mama!

Memories of Being One

For today I thought it would be fun to post some random pictures of Klayton this past year. There really are so many memories that I would like to capture; but there will never be enough words or enough memory cards...

Some Things Not to Be Forgotten

Continuing with posts leading up to my lil guys special day!
There are so many things that come to mind that I don't want to forget! Today I thought it would be fun just to pen a few.
*Going for walks to the kitchen.
At random Klayton will come grab our hands and will walk us to the kitchen or around the house. The purpose? We don't always know...sometimes it's so we will get him something, other times its just because!
*Song Leading.
Klayton loves music and loves to be a part of the song service at church. If he is particularly enjoying the music you can find him swinging his body and his hands as if he is directing the music. It's always funny to watch our church song leader because its evident when he notices the little song leader in the crowd.
*Grocery Shopping.
I love going to the grocery store and watching Klayton push the "little shopping cart". Klayton loves to put the grocery items in the cart all by himself. It's so cute to watch him unload the grocery cart, standing on tiptoe as he places the items on the conveyor belt!
The list could go on; but I will stop and reminisce in the silent night!

Favorite Things to Do

This Sunday my little boy will be celebrating his 2nd birthday. I just can't believe it! In honor of his upcoming special day, the next few days on here will be all about Klayton! Today our theme is: Favorite Things to Do!
1. Play with balls!
It doesn't matter if its a soccer ball, football or a basketball! Klayton loves to walk around throwing the ball up and catching it! He also enjoys playing catch...or at least throwing the ball to someone and trying to catch. Though he has recently been improving on his catching skills!
2. Climbing.
Just the other day Klayton was found climbing onto one of the bookshelves at the library. He often tries to climb on top of the highest part of the couch, sometimes the table...
3. Going to the mall playland.
Such a great area to run like a crazy kid! Klayton loves to play on the slide, look at himself in the crazy mirror and play with the other kids!
4. Play outside.
Klayton doesn't need much to entertain himself in the outdoors. He can usually be found chatting with Mama on the front steps...taking a walk all by himself-as long as he doesn't cross his boundary line...playing in the leaves, rocks or grass and playing with his tricycle!

Wordless Wednesday-Playing in Leaves

Outward Beauty

I've been doing a lot of thinking about outward beauty. Maybe I'm the only one; but I hate talking to another female when she's THISCLOSE to my face. I even get uncomfortable when it's not thatclose but still in very close proximity. I find myself trying to focus on the conversation as I wonder if she's noticed how bushy my eyebrows are, my teeth stains, how big my pores are or how overall my complexion is not very pretty. I can't help but notice how perfectly white her teeth are, her smooth skin and should I even notice how there probably isn't even a roll on her body?! Talking to another of my "kind" sometimes makes me very small, very lost...does this even make sense to you?
Yet as I feel inferior I find myself comparing myself to others that I think are "below" me. "At least I'm not that fat"..."Oh my word, did you see her teeth?!" My only explanation is that I'm trying to build myself back up for all the security I lost when I was busy comparing myself to Miss America.
I'm discovering that this is an age old battle...I still remember when I was 12 my mom let me start wearing foundation as teenage acne had set in. It was a Sunday and I was feeling particularly ugly as those ugly pimples reared themselves. I pulled out my Cover Girl foundation in the shade of nude, one layer; two layers and a few more layers later I finally felt as if my pimples were sufficiently hid. We arrived to church...my mom had yet to see me as she had gone to church early and I managed to get to my Sunday school class without spotting her. But, apparently my Sunday school teacher noticed my raccoon eyes and didn't think it was a good look for me and my mom was soon dragging me to the bathroom to start washing off the layers. The funny thing about it all was that I didn't even notice how bad I looked with half a bottle of foundation on my face-I just noticed how pathetic I looked bearing pimples on my face and what the other girls were going to think of me having to get a makeup lesson at church! I was only 12...
At 16, I worked at Sears and had a customer tell me I was fat and ugly. It bothered me; but what bothered me most was when I shared the event with a friend she replied, "you are not fat!" Not a word was mentioned about the word ugly...it was bad enough when a complete stranger had that thought;but my friend who knew me not for only what I was but for who I was as well. Yeah, it didn't really matter what my heart looked like at that moment did it?
I'm now 30...I've learned these pimples are still rearing their ugly heads, I've got more fat rolls than I did when I was 16 and those struggles with my outer beauty are still there. I still have those friends that are mommies as well who make it openly clear that they are the most beautiful in our circle of friends. Ouch. I've even had a friend say to me that I'm not the most beautiful outwardly; but I have a beautiful heart. At least, they made mention of my heart, right? I say that with a sarcastic smile; but to be honest it hurt my heart A LOT. There are still the clicks, like in highschool...the pretty girls and the average girls. It's a rare treat to be average and be a part of the pretty girls.
I look around and notice that I'm a part of a lot of beautiful things in this life! I have a little boy who has the most beautiful blue eyes and the cutest chin...I have a marriage...a family...friends. So, I find myself hiding behind that beauty ashamed that I can't be out in the front line, unashamed of how I will look in front of the camera..unashamed of my smile. In the long run, I'm not only hurting myself I'm hurting those around me. Most of all I realize that I'm hurting the One who allowed the Bible verse to be penned about being fearfully and wonderfully made. What does my struggle with my "lack of beauty" do to Him? I tell people all the time that my God makes no mistakes; but I then turn around and complain about how ugly I look. Interesting. My God makes no mistakes; but I destroy a picture of myself because I can't stand to look at it as it shows every blaring blemish there ever was on my face. I don't really know what God saw in me before He even started to form me; but He saw something worth making. By letting this insecurity and doubt get in the way, am I really letting myself live up to the worth God has invested in me?

Wordless Wednesday-IHOP

10 on Tuesday-Instructions

1. This weekend I am going to an overnight ladies retreat. What does this mean? Klayton will be staying behind with his daddy and grandma. How do I feel about this? Nervous. So this post is dedicated to some instructions for his caregivers to heed!
2. If you take him to the mall he must be either kept in the stroller or holding someones hand. Klayton must not leave your sight.
3. Make sure he remembers at all times that his mommy misses him and loves him very much.
4. Remind Mommy often with pictures that he is doing ok...I want lots of pictures.
5. Don't let him walk the stairs with his arms loaded down. He is pretty good at walking the stairs; but can become wobbly when weighed down with his toys. Someone should be near him when he is going up the stairs for sure.
6. No juice after 8-he will be very hyper and will not go to sleep for a LONG time if he has juice late into the evening.
7. Please be sure he gets a nap in of some sort.
8. Don't leave Victor the Bear behind.
9. In the mornings he likes to eat cereal, no milk in it. Klayton is a grazer in the mornings, so I don't confine him to the highchair.
10. Cuddle and love on him lots. Mommy will do her best not to be paranoid; but you need to remember he is my little boy that I love dearly and with all my heart.