Wednesday, July 10, 2013

My Heart Aches

Saturday night I was laying in bed checking out Facebook while I waited for another life in Candy Crush. I was scrolling across recent status updates and posts when I saw one in particular that caught my eye. I discovered my friend Benny Totter had passed away from a heart attack at 31 leaving 2 kids behind. Benny and I had went to college together and our freshman year allowed us to live on the same dorm floor. We shared many great conversations on the stairwell to the 2nd floor, we laughed together and celebrated my first birthday away from home "swooning" over Mickey Mantle.

Benny and I lost touch and thankfully through Facebook we were able to reconnect. We had been talking about reconnecting in "real life" if I could get through Chicago. I wish we could have had that day. I find myself visiting her Facebook page and scrolling through her photos because even though we were no longer "close" her death has deeply affected me. Benny was 31...I am 31...she was planning for her future with her kids and I have my plans for the future with Klayton. One of her last status updates made mention of the year 2021 when she would be 40 watching her daughter graduate from high school-a day that will never be hers. My heart aches. Benny's death has reminded me how fleeting life is, no one is "too" young to die.

I can't help but think of all those moments her daughter Hannah will want to share with her mom...how Benny will not be there to watch her little boy grow into a man. I can't help but to think the smile that made Benny's eyes crinkle will never be seen again on this earth. My heart aches.
I am sure Benny is not wishing she could be back here living life, she gets to be in Heaven sitting at the feet of the One who is the giver and taker of life...the One who saved her from the fire so she can live for eternity with Him. And though it didn't seem "fair" He wanted to die for us so that we could be given eternal life in Heaven. Who is the One I speak of? My Lord, Jesus Christ. If tomorrow were never to come for you do you know where you would spend eternity? If not, I would love the opportunity to chat with you about it.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.


Elisabeth Spivey said...

Oh I'm so sad to hear this! She was such a sweet spirt and I too have some very fun memories with her from collage. Prayers for family and friends. ~Elisabeth

Anonymous said...

Thank you she was a wonderful wife and mother.
-Matt her husband.