Love for Klayton

I love Klayton for...
*the way he wants to dance with me when music plays on tv.
*his not so sneaky ways.
*the cheesy grin he gives when he realizes trouble has come his way.
*the morning snuggles he gives as he puts his arm around my neck and pulls me close.
*how he insists on being 2!
*the way he talks to himself in the mirror.
*how he loves everything dog, car or ball.
*his love for the pool and swimming.
*the out of the blue moments that he wants to hold my hand.
*how he will randomly swap his drink with his daddy's at dinner time.
*the way he grabs his Bible and hugs it.
*how he believes that if you have a hood on your jacket it needs to be worn.
*how he always nods his head yes when I ask, "do you know I love you?"
*the way he loves his daddy.
*the way he picks up the knocked over boxes of Mac and cheese at the grocery store.
*and simply put, I love him for more than a million reasons and for no reason at all.

Trying a New Dish-Bucket List

Just a few weeks away from celebrating my 32nd birthday and working at getting things crossed off my bucket list for the year. I am realizing that I won't cross everything off; but I will have completed half of the list. And one of those things will be…

8. Try a new dish instead of ordering the same old thing when I go out to eat.

Yes, I am THATperson who knows exactly what I will be ordering before I go into a restaurant. Don't believe me?? Here is a short list: Johnny Carino's-tortelloni, Olive Garden-cheese ravioli with a meat sauce, Red Robin-clucks and fries, Arby's-a small number one combo, Subway-italian bmt on honey oat, with; lettuce, onion, green pepper, banana pepper, spinach, pickles and mayo. I am definitely a creature of habit!

I actually was able to cross this one off my bucket list a few months ago when we went to Red Robin for my dad's birthday. I ordered the, Whiskey River BBQ Chicken sandwich

And yes, I made sure that it wasn't actually made with whiskey! It is just the name of the sauce. I really think our waiter thought I was crazy as I was explaining to him that I am pregnant, I don't drink and I am not convinced that all the alcohol, etc. that people use to cook with actually cooks out.

Was I pleased with my choice? Well, I am pleased that I actually went against my "creature of habit" routine and branched out; but I don't think it was wise while pregnant! You just never know how things are going to set with you and I did enjoy the sandwich at first; but I couldn't finish the last few bites because it suddenly tasted nasty. I really think that the last few bites lacked BBQ sauce and the combination of chicken, lettuce and onion rings was dry and therefore, a little much for me to handle.

Will I order this item again? Probably. But more often than not I will just stick with my creature of habit choice and get the Clucks and Fries!

Mama Bear Reality

My husband frequently teases people not to mess with me-especially while pregnant-because I can be such a "Mama Bear"! I finally decided to Google the definition and found this definition from the urban dictionary: a mom who can be cuddly and lovable but also has a ferocious side when it's necessary to protect her cubs. Can also be a biological mom, or the head of the group. I also found this definition: a wonderful mother who is protective, but in a good way. She acts like a mother bear in all senses of the word; caring, protective, helpful, loving, powerful, strong, a refuge of sorts.

I must admit that I don't mind at all being called a Mama Bear! You see I firmly believe that Klayton is worthy of being protected, cared for, loved! He deserves to be cuddled and to have a refuge. These are not bad things. When my husband teases about this I know he is not referring to me in a bad way; but I am learning that people tend to furrow their eyebrow when the possibility of Mama Bear showing herself is present. You see its not always popular to be Mama Bear-sometimes you have to go against the grain. Sometimes Mama Bear is not going to be favored by the child or the people around her, it can be a hard pill to swallow. I have been quick to learn that it's okay that Klayton doesn't always like my choices for him; but I have been very slow to learn that it is okay for others not to always like my choices for my child. One of the things I struggle with-you may laugh; but I hate it and I don't like it at all when people share their drinks or food from their plate with their silverware with Klayton. It is a personal preference; but something that Joseph and I also recently learned is that there are so many sicknesses/diseases that can be passed through that simple act. As Mama Bear, I cringe when I see people still doing this with my child and I admittedly "steam" about it. At the same time, I realize that it is a result of my "fear" to speak up as in some cases I have tried to casually address the topic. See this is where my slow learning comes in-it shouldn't matter what people think because I know I am looking out for the best interest of my child.

One of my favorite parts of the definition of Mama Bear is, a refuge of sorts! I have recently learned that in some areas I am Klayton's refuge and I do not want to infringe on that in any way. A few weeks ago we were in an unpleasant situation and Klayton was not liking it. I found comfort knowing that my child wanted me to hold his hand, wanted me near him! I find comfort in the knowledge that he KNOWS that I am there for him. I will often ask Klayton, "do you know that I love you?" And he always answers yes! I don't ever hope for a day where his answer is no. Klayton is such a daddy's boy; but if he gets hurt he wants me-yay! I believe it is necessary to be a Mama Bear just to protect the refuge my child seeks in me! I want to be the Mom that my child knows he can go to and that he doesn't have to go elsewhere. I would never on purpose put Klayton in a questionable situation or in harms way and when another person does this to my child, my trust is broken. I realize that may seem harsh; but I don't care! I say that with a smile on my face so maybe that lessened the harsh reality of what I said!

I love being someones Mama Bear and I can't wait to be Mama Bear to both my boys!

Book Reviews 8-9

So, I have just a few more weeks before my birthday and 3 more books to read before then! Do you think I can do it? I hope so!

Book 8-Elizabeth Smart, My Story

I started reading this book early one morning after Joseph had went to work and I finished it before bed that same day. So, that should tell you right there that I thought it was good reading and yet easy reading. The book didn't go SO deep that you felt like you had to stop and reread to make sure of what you really read or if you were understanding correctly. The writers painted a transparent picture of the control a person takes when they steal something precious from us. Some of the precious "things" that were stolen from Elizabeth don't need words and I appreciated how she was not graphic about what he (the man who kidnapped her) did to her. She kept the things that needed to be private-just that private. I also appreciated how she emphasized we all deal differently-its easy to say, "I would have..." but you never know until you have actually "been there". I believe that applies to all trials that we face. One of the things that stuck out to me after she had returned home is the "pep talk" her mom gave to her and the statement, "We often choose to let people steal our happiness..." What a simple and yet true statement that I myself, who has not been kidnapped needs to remember. I would definitely recommend this book for reading.

Book 9-Choosing to See

I admit I did not finish this book in one day; but over a period of several days. I starterd reading this book and one of the first things that grabbed my attention was this statement, "I believe God can handle my heart, my questions, and my anger." The reason this grabbed my attention so quick was that often Christians, myself included tend to sometimes even sugarcoat our feelings to God-yet He already knows what is going on-He sees our heart. From that point on I knew I was going to be reading some transparent reading. I appreciate transparency in writing. Mary Beth was very open about the struggles that she faced in the midst of the death of one of her children and the circumstances around it-well, are just wow. I don't want to give details away in case you want to read it. I want to share a couple of quotes I highlighted in the book:

..I've held on to certain expectations about life. But, Jesus has always loved me enough to show me that even when I push my own ideas and expectations, He is there to guide me back to green pastures."

"I have found that even during those times when the path is darkest, He leaves little bits of evidence all along the way-bread crumbs of grace-that can give me what I need to take the next step. But I can only find them if I choose to SEE."

How often do we as Christians talk about our expectations and try to make them out to be what God wants for our lives? Something to think about! Overall, I really appreciated this book and enjoyed it. I do wish that instead of taking excerpts from her blog for the final chapters that she would have just kept with how she had written the previous chapters. But, it wasn't enough to sway me not to finish reading it. I would read it again.

And, with all that being said, I better get reading!

Pregnant Tuesdays-20 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I have gained back the weight I lost plus one pound which brings me to a plus 1! Not bad!
How much does baby weigh? I was so focused on discovering WHO baby was at ultrasound, I forgot to ask what the measurements were. However, on average at this stage baby is the size of a cantaloupe!
Maternity Clothes? Yep! I still manage to fit into a few regular tops; but that is quickly coming to an end!
Stretch marks? Well, the ones I had from Klayton are starting to be visible once again.
Sleep? Pretty good!
Best Moment this week? Discovering that we are having a boy!
Food cravings? Root beer.
Food aversions? Not really; but when something does not sound good it really doesn’t sound good and there is no way I will be eating it.
Pregnancy Symptoms: Back aches, dry skin-literally I am so itchy.
Gender: Boy-Justus Dempsey
Labor signs? Very early for that!
Belly button in or out? In.
What I miss? Nothing!
What I am looking forward to? My next appointment and hearing baby's heartbeat! I really do love that sound!
Milestones? 20 weeks=the halfway point!

Love for my Little Mister

I have been reading a book, "Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman. So far it has been a good read that gets me thinking. It makes me think about this little boy I know. This boy is smarter than I probably give him credit for...loves with a gentle heart, has a heart of gold, can find trouble in the blink of an eye and knows that he is "it". This boy is MY son, Klayton who is often called "Mister"! I am so blessed to have him in my life...his morning cuddles-he wraps his arm around my neck and pulls in close. He knows how to give the best kisses. His laugh is infectious and cute as it causes his eyes to squint shut. He is my first born and I have never loved another boy like I love him. This love can make my happy and yet causes an ache in the heart. It has taught me that a Mother's love really is different and nothing has compared.

HIs Name Shalt Be...

We are pretty good about having names picked pretty quick. While pregnant with Klayton we had his name and a girl name chosen pretty early on in the pregnancy. So, when I got pregnant with this one I assumed it would be just as easy. We kept the girl name and decided it would be best to toss around boy names as well and this proved to be a difficult task! At the beginning we talked about Jaydon Dempsey...soon after I nixed that one. Then after a long discussion tossing names around we decided, Jagger Dempsey.
On Friday I went in to the ultrasound thinking is it going to be a Jacinda or a Jagger? And sure enough we discover its a boy and thus Jagger Dempsey? Um, no! We walk out and Joseph quickly shares that he is not as fond of Jagger as I had thought. So, let the naming start over! As we drove to Des Moines for our anniversary Joseph started searching the internet for J boy names...Javin, Jadon, Jabon, Justus, Joshua. We started talking about the names and I inquired about Justus as I thought it was a Bible name. Sure enough Acts 1:23 reads, "And they appointed two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus and Matthias." And it was settled, his name shalt be Justus! Why? The answer was found in that verse, Joseph (my husbands name), Matthias-a pronunciation of Matthew (Klayton's middle name) and Justus. A link of sorts between my three boys. Joseph's surnamed Justus and Matthias who were the two that the eleven apostles had chosen to replace Judas with, however out of the two Matthias was chosen. But, even still I think that was quite an honor for Joseph/Justus to be considered. I am settled and excited that we have a name and excited to meet Klayton's little brother, Justus Dempsey!

GIrl? Boy?

And I must add a playful boy as well! During our ultrasound he played a rousing game of peekaboo! It was hilarious-literally 5 times in a row he would cover his eyes with his hands and quickly remove them! And maybe, we can consider an hour long ultrasound just to reveal himself being playful as well or maybe that is just stubbornness...

Forward

Well, duh it's 2014! A new year...a new chapter and life continues to move forward. I am choosing to step out of the past and look forward to what lies ahead.

This year:
*We will find out who Baby B is!
*Joseph and I will celebrate 6 years of marriage.
*I will turn 32.
*Baby B will be born.
*Joseph will turn 35.
*Klayton will turn 4!

I have a lot to look forward to and many "unplanned" things to be added to that list. Thankfully, I have a God who knows my future and will be with me each step of the way.

Please remember to vote in my poll to the right. The poll closes this evening as my ultrasound is scheduled tomorrow. If you are viewing from a mobile device please choose to view the web version so you may vote,