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Friday, October 7, 2011

Frustrated Mommy Who WILL Win

I am sitting here listening to Klayton scream/cry and I am frustrated. Its hard letting him scream it out; but he is being stubborn and I need to be more stubborn. This is the part of parenting that really gets to me and makes me want to cry right along with him. I feel like a meanie letting him cry and not comforting him and I feel like even more of a meanie every time he calls out, "mama".
I also feel bad that I am so frustrated at him, like I'm not being a good mommy because I am frustrated. Later I will find myself apologizing to Klayton for acting frustrated; but I will not apologize for being more stubborn...I am mommy and I am in charge-not him.
Do you ever feel like its hard to separate being mommy and being tough from being mommy and being soft? I feel like that quite often. I think its hard for me to be tough on nights like this because we are guests in someones home and it requires me to stay in my room to deal with Klayton because I don't feel that they should have to listen to our battle. Other times I feel like this when I am in front of others and then I start second guessing myself, "do they think I am being to harsh?" And other questions flood my mind, especially when they start suggesting things or telling me how they did it, etc.
Yes, I realize that I need to be open to advice; but why it bothers me so is when I do something or tell them how I do it, etc and they choose to still act like they are his parent or do it the way they think best frustrates me. I make mistakes, made them and will continue to make them as his mommy...I will learn from them...I will apologize for them. So, I guess I am saying go ahead and make your judgements...its okay. Okay, I guess its not always okay with me, ha-especially when I am second guessing myself or feeling bad. However, when I deal with Klayton or the way I decide to do things with him the way I do is because my husband and I have decided together how we believe God wants us to raise him.

1 comment:

Carter Family Adventures said...

I'm kind of on both sides right now. On one hand I'm going through the same thing you are with Elsa. It's hard to be tough when you just want to snuggle. On the other hand, I have half-grown children so I understand how fast they grow, and how I wish I could still snuggle with them.
What I'm trying to say is, when your children get older, you think back on times when they were young and you were tough, and you wish you could be soft again. It's okay to cuddle him until he falls asleep, he'll learn to fall asleep on his own eventually.
And when people give you advice, they're just thinking about how they wish they could snuggle with their little ones again. I have a baby, and I also wish I could snuggle with my olders, so I still understand both sides.
I hope that made sense, lol.