Ten on Tuesday

1. It is finally warming up here. Yesterday it was almost 60 and is to remain in the 50's for the foreseeable future! I'm ready for Spring!
2. I recently tried the, shamrock shake from McDonald's. It's only brought out in the month of March and a fan favorite...except for me, I wasn't a fan. Maybe the crew member didn't make it right?!
3. What I am a fan of though is the Snickers Frappe from Starbucks! Its a Java Chip with 2 shots of toffee nut, caramel in the cup and caramel drizzle-yum!
4. Saturday, my newbie is going to be 3 months old? How? Where did that time go???
5. I would post a pic; but haven't watermarked any recently. And yes the pic would normally go here!
6. We are now a 2 car family! So happy and thankful! We were able to purchase a 2007 Buick Rendezvous, bucket seats in the middle and a 3rd row seat! Much roomier for our family than our Jeep and I feel so much safer now that the kids aren't literally crammed in.
7. Klayton has now lost a total of 5 teeth...crazy kid. I owe it to the fact that he was an early teether. Hoping his permanent teeth come in stronger.
8. Justus is getting his words-slowly; but surely they are coming! My guys are just late talkers and that is okay!
9. Speaking of Justus, he has become quite the climber. This is a new experience for me and I can safely say it makes me slightly nervous.
10. Tomorrow, I PROMISE to be back with a Wordless Wednesday picture!
Happy Tuesday!

Ten on Tuesday-Bring You Up to Speed

1. We are now living in Wisconsin and have been here for almost a month! We are loving it.
2. Justus is now 16 months!

3. Klayton is getting ready to celebrate his 5th birthday and is in pre-K!

4. I am 28 weeks pregnant! And I "get" to do my glucose test on Friday.

5. We are excited to meet this little guy in December.

6. Klayton has lost 2 teeth while Justus is getting 2 new teeth.
7. Thursday my hubs will celebrate his 36th birthday. Upward swing to 40-he's getting old.
8. A little laugh for this Tuesday, courtesy of Klayton! My mom had a deer in her garden that she told Klayton about. He told her that he needs to get his gun (don't worry he doesn't have a real one) and come shoot. She asked him, "why? are you going to eat it?" His reply, "I don't like deer meat-I like people meat!"
9. God gave those little children to you, Mama-to you. No one else can mother them like you can. You may have your work cut out for you, but you're the one cut out to accomplish it.
10. Have a Happy Tuesday and I am promising to be back this week!

Rut

I admit I am in a blogging rut. What to blog about, I haven't had anything exciting happen in my life as of late. And the "deep" things I would like to blog about would probably result in people calling me in frustration or sad about what I am blogging even though this is my blog and I should be able to blog about what I want. So, yes maybe I would like to blog about how I am a people pleaser! Or maybe I would like to blog about dreams that I am having to learn to give up and am struggling to do so? Mmm...I am still here in blog world and hope to return with a few posts this week!

5 Years

Today 5 years ago Joseph and I made a vow! Vows are meant to be kept!
Looking back at that night, we really were so young...even though i felt like i had to wait FOREVER for a husband! I was 25 and he was 27. I remember hearing that there would be moments in our marriage that would not be easy. But, standing at the altar it's hard to even fathom those moments. We have been through a lot...the strong winds really blew last year. I think it's safe to say we have weathered some storms and have made it through and with God on our side not only will we make it 5 more years; but we will make it as long as God gives us life!
When my dad gave me away, this song was sung!

Household of Faith
Here we are at the start committing to each other
By His word and from our hearts
We will be a family in a house that will be a home
And with faith we'll build it strong

Chorus:
We'll build a household of faith
That together we can make
And when the strong winds blow it won't fall down
As one in Him we'll grow and the whole world will know
We are a household of faith

Now to be a family we've got to love each other
At any cost unselfishly
And our home must be a place that fully abounds with grace
A reflection of His face

Chorus

Catch Up

I figured it has been a LONG time since I have given just a general update of life! Today, is the perfect opportunity to catch up and share some pictures!
I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time! My grandparents received a gazillion phone calls from me as I searched for the turkey giblets and neck. I ended up cooking the neck because I never found it pre-oven; but the turkey still turned out delicious and thankfully even after my experience of "gutting" a turkey, I still like to eat it!
Last week I was able to spend time with a friend and do a little crafting, thank you Pinterest! I made two scarves and my friend Jessica made this beautiful wreath!

Then last Friday we flew to Arizona, where we still are! Enjoying palm trees and cactus as well as warm weather! It has been in the 80's here, quite a change from what we left in South Dakota!

Let me take this moment to brag on my little guy and his first experience flying! He did awesome!
Waiting to check in...

Checking out the airplanes at the gate that mommy thought we were flying out of...

Klayton actually slept for about half the flight, which caused him to miss take off. But when he woke up he enjoyed some snacks, pushing buttons in the bathroom that should not be pushed and looking out the window! He did fuss a little as we prepared for landing; but that is to be expected with the air pressure changes!

Since we have been in Arizona we have been busy. Joseph has been helping out a pastor and that has kept him extremely busy! Klayton however, has found time to have a little fun and decorate some Christmas cookies!

I think we will continue to be busy during our time here! I am hoping to check out the Mesa Swap Meet this weekend and figure out a way to start finish my Christmas shopping for my husband as we don't get home until the morning of Christmas Eve day!

10 on Tuesday

1. I want to try my hand at glass etching. I already have the cream and the glass...now I just need my stencil. I want to get, Walk in My Garden cricut cartridge for that.
2. It's going to be a long week and that's all I will say about that.
3. This is my number for the week as I have 3 parties scheduled for Scentsy this month. A basket, catalog and home party! Yay!
4. I think I'm going to do a garage sale this weekend. Canton doesn't really have a newspaper, so maybe a few signs around town will do the trick??
5. I'm going to make copycat Raspberry Lemonade from the Cheesecake Factory. It's a Pinterest idea...here's to yumminess!
6. So, a few weeks ago Klayton's kiddie pool was stolen and last night our visitors had their gps stolen.
7. I'm still enjoying my Facebook sabbatical.
8. None of us really slept last night. Hate when that happens.
9. Sometimes I get really frustrated when people act like they know what is best for MY child.
10. Here's hoping to a regular blog post in the very near future...Happy Tuesday!

Preaching to Myself

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

Have you been in a place in your life where you do your best to give it to the Lord? Let Him handle your fears? And then when He doesn’t deliver, feel forsaken?
I have had many fears over the years, in the last few years and then most recently in the past couple of months. Fears that I cannot share and choose not to share. Today some of those fears are still there, I told the Lord about them, begged Him to hear me, tried to do everything “right” and yet I have not been delivered from my fears. Instead they have increased. I feel forsaken…I don’t understand. I feel broken and want to be healed…it will take time, I know the pieces can be fixed.
I was thinking that Jesus has never told us, His children, that He needs to give us an explanation…He has just told us to trust, lean not on our own understanding, place our yoke upon Him, serve Him, KNOW Him, keep our mind on Him. My stomach is in knots knowing that I have no explanation to the why’s of my present situation…it’s in knots as the future hangs in the balance.

“The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.” Psalm 34:15

I had to keep reading that passage to be reminded in spite of my feelings of forsakedness (that’s probably not a word!) that God heard me and He still hears me.

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. “ Psalm 34:19-20

God is still near. And I still have to believe that deliverance is mine because He says, “delivereth him out of them ALL!” I really can’t see God’s hand right now, I need to trust His heart.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. “ Romans 8:28
This present situation is for my good because I love God and this is a part of His purpose.

So, yes Lord I really don’t know what You are doing; but I don’t have to know it all…You don’t have to offer an explanation because You are God! Somehow, I will muster the strength to praise You, sacrifice my feelings of fear and praise You because You still love me and I still love You!

I've Been Thinking

Today has been a very special day throughout history, a day we celebrate the death, burial and resurrection of MY Savior. As a child it seems to be more about the Easter Egg hunt and what we will find in our Easter Baskets...as we grow older we begin to understand the importance of this day. But, this year the importance and the reality of this day has really touched me in a way that I have never felt before.
I keep imagining God sending His ONLY son, Jesus to die on the cross for MY sins and YOUR sins. Then i think of my ONLY son, Klayton...could I put Klayton on a cross so that others may know Heaven as their home? Would I be willing to sacrifice my son so that someone else may know Christ? Wow! When I think about this I can't truly wrap my head around it all...God sent His Son, Jesus to die on the cross for MY sins so that if I simply acknowledge that I'm a sinner, believe on Jesus as my personal Savior and confess my sins and ask Him to forgive me of my sins I could claim heaven as my home. But Jesus didn't only pay my penalty, He paid yours as well so that you can have the opportunity to call Heaven your home. Imagine the love that Christ has for the sinner to do that for us?
I must admit, I serve a living God that hears me when I talk to Him, who talks to me, who loves me and carries me through my struggles and joys. I praise the Lord for sending His son to die on the cross for my sins and I praise Him for saving me and by faith not of works, I can claim Heaven as my home someday. Is Heaven your home? If not, I pray that you will decide to make it your home today-we do not know what tomorrow holds.

The first step to salvation is to realize that we are all sinners:
Romans 3:10 (KJV)
As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:
Romans 3:23 (KJV)
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Next, you must know that because of sin there must be a price paid:
Romans 6:23 (KJV)
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

This price can be paid by you with an eternity in Hell, or you can accept the price that Jesus paid for your sin:
Romans 5:8 (KJV)
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

To accept Jesus’ payment for your sin simply call on His name and ask Him to forgive your sins and save you:
Romans 10:9-13 (KJV)
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. [10] For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. [11] For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. [12] For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. [13] For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

If you are ready to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, take time right now to pray, confessing your sin and asking Him to save you.

When you accept Jesus, He is faithful to do what He said He would - He forgives you and saves you. This an eternal life that cannot be lost:
1 John 5:13 (KJV)
These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

All Things Random

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing really good and posting a lot through out the week, then I realize its been a week since I posted. To say the least I have been busy...
Last week through today has been spent doing a ton of cleaning. It feels good to get things done; but I know there is still more to do...I think there will always be more to do. Do you have any time saving cleaning tips, feel free to share them in my comments! I am always in need of genius tips!
On Friday, we had some friends over-it was so fun! Their little boy, Chase is just 7 weeks younger than Klayton and we just know that they are going to be buds as they get older! We laid the boys next to each other and they held hands, stared at each other and yes, Klayton even hit Chase! Klayton also showed his jealous side, I was holding Chase and Klayton would not stop fussing until I put Chase down, it was so funny! At the same time, it was a reminder of how characteristics of jealousy don't need to be taught.


Klayton has been working on some teeth for a couple of months and this weekend they have finally started to push through! Hopefully, they will pop all the way through soon; but at least it seems the end is in sight! Yay!
We broke down and decided to get my wedding rings sized, I haven't worn them since the beginning of my pregnancy and was really hoping they would fit soon after I gave birth; but it is now April and they are still to small. Sad. So, I got the rings back this weekend, I just love my wedding set....

Things I'm looking forward to this week...dinner with my friend Jessica, my parents coming up this weekend, my sisters bridal shower, which I'm giving a devotion for and maybe some jewelry making or scrapbooking! This post has been completely random and I would like to promise that I will be better; but I better not! ha!

Looking Forward to Next Week

Another week in Roy, Utah...this Saturday we will be on our way to Las Vegas, Nevada for a Sunday meeting! Viva Las Vegas! Anyway, I am kind of excited about going there...I'm interested in seeing the Eiffel Tower since I will more than likely never see the one in Paris!
Once we leave Las Vegas we will head to Oklahoma City and introduce Klayton to his Uncle Caleb and meet Uncle Caleb's fiancee Brandy. We haven't seen Caleb in what feels like ages...last time I saw him was right after we found out that we were expecting a baby! But, we will be able to do a lot of making up for lost time as we will now see Caleb next week, then in April and finally again in May for his wedding. Its crazy to think that my little brother is getting married. This is my brother and I at Thanksgiving of 2009.

I am also looking forward to meeting up with my favorite redhead, Lindsay and meeting her new man, Hudson! It will be so neat to introduce Klayton to her and spend time with her. Lindsay is one of my greatest friends and I am so thankful that the Lord knew that I would need a friend like her when He allowed us to be roomies in college!

I have been battling quite the headache this past weekend and today, I really wish it would go away and never come back again. I have also not been feeling the greatest...hoping that when I wake up tomorrow I will be miraculously healed! I'm wondering if the snow here in Utah is what is giving me my headache??? Mmm...I was really hoping to avoid the snow; but that didn't happen. So , South Dakota I will be home next month and please be sure to be sunny and start warming up...

Things to Ponder

Do you know how it is to know you shouldn't keep pondering certain thoughts; but you still do? Well, ever since I heard about 4 month old Maddie being taken to heaven, I just can't get her and her family out of my head. I recently started following their blog, It All Started When Two People Fell in Love-you can catch the link on my sidebar. A part of me doesn't want to follow their blog because my heart just aches for them; but then I want to follow it and read it, so I can pray for that family.
I couldn't imagine Klayton being taken away from me. We dedicated Klayton back to the Lord when he was in my belly and again on his first Sunday in church after being born. I know he belongs to the Lord and the Lord has just loaned him to us; but deep down I just keep asking the Lord to not take him from me, EVER! Is it selfish that I think I should be the one in this life to never experience what the Staat family is experiencing now? To carry a child in the womb and then to only hold them in their arms for 4 months doesn't seem long enough; but its 4 months longer than we deserve. If I truly dedicated him to the Lord, I am giving full permission to the Lord to do with Klayton as He pleases...I don't dictate what the Lord can and cannot do with my child or with my life. I have to simply trust in the Lord believing He is doing what is best for my life and for Klayton! I am learning that giving Klayton to the Lord has got to be a daily practice, it is so easy to try and do things my own way. I have to raise Klayton with the Lord in mind.
The Staats have simply reminded me that the people we do have in our lives cannot and should not be taken for granted. I pray that I never take one day with Klayton and my husband for granted. And once again I choose to be thankful for dirty diapers, spit up, fussy nights, days of teething because if I didn't have those I wouldn't have my Klayton! And I will soak in and cherish every smile Klayton gives me, every cuddle, every laugh, every time he grips my finger or plays with my necklace. Thank you Lord for giving me YESTERDAY and TODAY with my baby!

10 on Tuesday...

1. I have not been able to come up with ten random thoughts...I keep coming back to this post and I get nothing. So, lets try again!
2. Currently, I am enjoying a night in with my baby while my husband is out playing basketball with some guys! He has been anxious to play, so I am glad he has been able to go out and play tonight!
3. Do you know how easy it is to spend money? Very easily, especially when it comes to scrapbooking supplies! My Grandma-in-law, sent me money and I spent it all tonight on scrapbooking supplies so now I am even more anxious to scrapbook!
4. Tonight I was able to play Scrabble with my mom! We played on POGO, it was quite fun even though I lost all three games.
5. Skype, its a great tool! If you don't have it you should consider getting it,its free and a great way to keep in touch with family and friends you don't get to see everyday. The last two days we have been able to skype with both of our families!
6. Laundry is definitely calling my name and I think I shall heed to it tomorrow...
7. Just one more month and then we should be home-yay!
8. I am looking forward to introducing Klayton to his uncle in just a few weeks! Its just sad that it has been this long before they could meet; but such is life.
9. Its crazy to think that both my sister and my brother will be getting married this year. My sister in April and my brother in May; but I am thankful that God brought special people into their lives that they want to spend their lives with!
10. Wow, I actually completed this post! Go me!

Quick Catchup

I just have to say that I love my grandparents and am SO excited to see them in April when they come out for my sisters wedding! Klayton is just as excited as mommy too! I can't wait to show them our home and to take them to our favorite restaurant-Johnny Carino's after the wedding! Okay, well Johnny Carinos is one of our many favorites!
We are currently planted in Roy, Utah for the next couple of weeks! We have a couple of meetings tomorrow; but for the most part we will be able to do a little relaxing with our good friends, Jason and Tina!
This week Klayton was sick...sad. I really hate to see him sick and its even harder when on the road. On Wednesday, we took a nap together and when we woke up I noticed he had a slight fever. We gave him some Tylenol in hopes that it wouldn't rise anymore than what it already had; but then he threw up-his first time to ever do that, poor baby. Thursday morning he seemed to be on the mend; but Thursday night his fever spiked to a 101. We gave him Pedialyte, Tylenol and alternated cool rags from his hot back to his hot forehead. Apparently, the rags exhausted him-he fell asleep around 11, woke once for a feeding and slept until 10:30 when we woke him because we needed to check out of the hotel. He woke up with no fever and hasn't had one since! He spent most of yesterday sleeping and still slept through the night last night! Today he is my happy baby once again and now I feel as if I can rest once again since I now know he is better!
I have gotten off track with my diet; but starting today I am committed to being good again! Last time I checked I had lost 13 lb. and I'm really hoping thats still the case and that by being bad lately I haven't put any of that back on. I think I have gotten frustrated enough with my belly fat to be serious again and stick to it once again...and I just want to put this out there, I really hate those women who don't have any pre-baby fat.
Hope this finds you all relaxing and enjoying your Saturday!

February 22nd...A Great Day

Currently, we are in a conference that is featuring the songs of two blind ladies that are in their fifties. The Pastor shared how he allowed the one blind woman to hold his one month old daughter and the woman wept with the longing of years gone by. Years of a desire for a baby that have passed, a desire that will never come to pass. I must acknowledge-I am blessed. God gave me a desire of my heart that I did not deserve. Actually two blessings I do not deserve, a husband and a child.
February 22nd is a special day for me. Four years ago today, I met my husband! I had just turned 25, twenty days before and was very discouraged. I knew as years continued on there was a good chance that I would remain single. I remember crying out to my friend, Michelle, at my birthday lunch over how alone I felt and how desperately I longed for a husband. If I could have seen ahead into the future by just a couple of weeks-I would have laughed at myself. God knew what He was doing and what was just around the corner. He knew my desire and was working out the details!

On this day last year, I took a pregnancy test...a pregnancy test that I didn't want to take. I had taken many before that always gave me negative answer; but my husband insisted that I take the test because that is how sure he was that I was pregnant. I took it, looked away and quickly looked back at the test just knowing it was going to say no! Then surprise of all surprises two lines appeared-I was pregnant! I didn't know that it was my Klayton Matthew at the time; but I knew the child within my belly was already loved and would just add more joy to our lives!

God has been so good to me and on this day that seems to have spoiled me in the past, I now look for God's blessings-I just know it will be a good day!


(P.S. I am posting this a couple days later and something good did happen this year...we did our taxes that day and realized we will be getting a refund-yay! God always provides right on time!)

10 on Tuesday...errr Wednesday

1. I admit I am a day late on this post; but we have been without internet access for a few days.
2. Saturday we left Lake Tahoe and went to Napa, where we left today from and are now currently in Armona, California.
3. It has been a cold and rainy few days and I don't really like this cold; but I am thankful that its not as cold as it is back home in South Dakota.
4. Tonight was our last official meeting in California on Friday we will head off to Phoenix, Arizona for a week!
5. I keep trying to post a video of Klayton laughing; but blogger isn't letting me load it for some reason. This is very frustrating because I would love to share the cutest laugh ever with you!
6. We didn't do anything spectacular for Valentines Day-it was just a normal day. But, we did go to McDonalds for hot fudge sundaes and fries! ha!
7. Next week Klayton will be 4 months old and I am very excited to do his 4 month post-he is doing so much and learning new things every day it seems.
8. Seriously, where is February disappearing to? It has gone SO fast!
9. I have now lost 13 lbs. on my diet. When I look at myself, I really can't see where I have lost the weight; but I am choosing to believe the scale!
10. My sweet find for the week...cherry and vanilla tootsie rolls! I love those things and can never find a package with just those two flavors! Thanks to Valentines Day clearance at Target!

Recap

Well, I have been pillowing my head at Lake Tahoe, California this week! We found a great deal of a hotel for $40 a night-which is pretty cheap considering where we are and where we were at. Free would have been better; but that couldn't be accomplished! loll!
We have had a pretty good week. Tuesday we left Sacramento and arrived to Lake Tahoe. Tuesday night we were just lazy and ordered a pizza in. Wednesday, we "shopped" the outlet mall-we didn't have money to spend so we more so window shopped! Although, I don't think we can even call it that because we basically went into every store-its not a big outlet mall! Today was just a day of touring downtown Lake Tahoe-it was fun! Tomorrow, we are hoping for warmer weather so we can go down by the lake-its supposed to be 60, so we will see; but before we can have our fun tomorrow laundry calls our name. Can I just tell you, how much I hate laundry mats? Well, I hate them-they make me miss my washer and dryer back home! And finally on Saturday we will make our way back to Napa for a few days!
Since we have been out here, we realized that our car tags are going to expire this month-oh joy! Thankfully, we have someone back at home that is willing to help us and pick them up for us so that on March 1st we won't be driving an 'expired' vehicle! I know vehicle registration comes around the same time every year; but for some reason we just never think about until we are in a difficult situation to go get them, like being in California!
I think Klayton is getting ready to start teething. He will be 4 months on the 21st. But, he drools like crazy, is always chewing on his hands, blankets and even our fingers-he has also been more fussy than usual. We will see, I try to check is gums; but he hates it when I prod on them to see if I can feel anything.
I have also been trying to "fix" my blog, last time I worked on the background I somehow messed up the layout. It is very frustrating-I almost have it "fixed"....tonight ended in frustration and I will have to work a few of the other kinks out at a later date/ But, what do you think of my new background?
I have stunk at my diet this week; but I have been exercising. I commit tomorrow to drink 3 bottles of water! loll! I plan on weighing myself on Monday and I am praying that the scale tells me some good news! Cherry coke and cherry pepsi are my weakness-if I could knock those two things out of my life I think I would be in good shape and on my way to huge weight loss results. Well, I am off to do sit-ups...

Being Real

I am trying to get back into the blogging spirit…I think I lost my desire to blog as openly about things, because I know certain people that read my blog would probably become critical. So, I held back. By holding back, I have struggled to pull things out of thin air to blog about…of course I can always blog about Klayton and I am sure ALL my readers love hearing about him, right? Right! Haha! But, I would also like to blog about other things so here it goes in an effort to, as my good friend Lindsay would say, “keeping it real” about life on the road!
We are quickly approaching a month of being back on the road. To say the least getting back on the road for me was not easy. December was a crazy month, surgery…hospitalized baby….company….among other things. There was so much packed into one month and then even the weekend we left to get back on the road was just as jam packed-it was all very crazy. I knew that our time at home was coming to an end. I had time to prepare and yet it seemed the time quickly passed and leaving snuck up on me and I quickly learned I wasn’t as ready as I had thought I would be. We left January 8th, after the wedding of a good friend and took off to Bellevue, Nebraska for the night. Thankfully, Bellevue was only a 3 hour drive because I cried for probably 2 hours and 45 minutes of that trip-I would probably been dried out of tears if the trip would have been longer! Haha! I didn’t even say goodbye to many people at the wedding because by the third goodbye I was an emotional wreck and if you know me at all, you know I am very private and I really don’t like to show my emotions. So that whole crying thing was even driving me nuts!
I would like to say January 8th was the only emotional night for me on this trip; but I would be telling a lie. I have probably driven my hubby batty at my tears and sensitivity. I didn’t even know how to explain my feelings to him-he wanted to help and he tried; but how can you help someone when they don’t even know the words to explain their feelings? Then we were in Reno, Nevada visiting a church that on short notice put us up for the night and fed us dinner-we also attended a revival service that they were having. During the meeting, was one of my first experiences of having an inconsolable baby and I was definitely no super mommy because I didn’t know what to do; but that’s another story that put me in tears. We didn’t even present our ministry to them and yet at the end of the service, the pastor gave Joseph a love offering and the pastor’s wife came over just to check and see how I was doing, which sent me into another course of tears. I hated crying AGAIN! But, the pastor’s wife just gave me a hug and asked me about it so I told her all about it and how I am just trying to be strong. After talking to her I realized its okay, I can be weak at times-I don’t always have to be strong. In my weakness, HIS strength is made perfect or I like to say made strong. God has all the strength and I can be strong; but only if I am weak in His hands for Him to shape me and give me the strength I need.
Traveling with a baby is very different; but a good different. Klayton is such a good traveler, he still has smiles at the end of the day-even after he has been stuck in his car seat anywhere from 2-10 hours at a time. Sitting in a van for long periods of time makes Joseph and I cranky at times and I think Klayton has had fewer cranky days than us and he is only 3 months old and were how old?! Being on the road with a baby has made us become stronger in the decisions we have made for our child and question some decisions. Maybe I shouldn’t say question; but rather perspective. We just want to be the best parents we can be and do right by the child God has entrusted us with. As parents we have to be unified, we may not always agree-after all we are two different people with sometimes two different ideas; but we are learning to come together and figure it out. We probably would have learned this at home, off the road; but being in so many churches with so many ideas we have learned that we need to be ready and confident in our decisions as parents. You never know when we will have some explaining to do! And we are learning that those around us will not always agree whether it be strangers, friends, family; but Klayton was given to us by the Lord and not to any one else-we are the ones that will answer to God…so at the end of the day we must ask ourselves, am I willing to answer to God for the decisions we have made today concerning the child He has lent to us?
While on the road, we have had some frustrating things happen to us. We are a long way from home and it’s not easy when meetings cancel us last minute and we have no place to go. I sometimes wonder if people realize how hard it is and how expensive it can be to live our life on the road, especially when we are cancelled last minute. I realize that at times churches/pastors have a legitimate reason; but not always. This has happened to us 3 times now. During times like this, it reminds us that we really need to be confident in what we are doing, because it would be very easy to become discouraged. Also, I wonder what goes through peoples minds when they put us up in hotels or homes for the night-do they ask themselves first if they would be willing to stay if they were in our position? We have been put up in places with black mold…no heat…dirty floors among other things and I think to myself, “I have a baby and you want me to stay here?’ Ugh…
You know, life on the road away from friends to start with was very good for me. I love my friends and I can be very friend oriented. When Joseph and I got married, we honeymooned and then immediately started deputation-we were away from home for 2 months. During that time we learned to depend on one another and I learned that instead of always going to my girlfriends, I needed to be going to my husband-my best friend. I must admit though whereas, yes, Joseph is still my best friend sometimes I just miss my friends. This has been a trip where I simply just miss my friends. You know the girls you can chat about whatever with, laugh and cry with? Yep, those are the girlfriends I have back home and I miss them.
This has turned into quite the post….if you are still reading this, I apologize for any and every thing that makes no sense! I will probably organize my thoughts better soon and blog again about this….

The Big Picture

This picture was taken, last year the 2nd week of February....

In this picture, I had just turned 28 the week prior and by this time we had been trying for a year and a half to have a baby. There is a smile on my face, we just had come to an end of a great missions conference and I was happy; but there was a part of me that was very sad. I was at the bottom of my barrel, I cried every time I learned someone was pregnant. I wanted to be happy for them, I really did and i would smile and congratulate them whenever I would learn of their news. However, deep in my heart I just wanted to turn away from them and go somewhere private for a good cry. The week before this picture, I told God that I was done hoping and trying-He had to rescue me because I could no longer do it...
But, now as I look at that picture there is an overwhelming sense of gratefulness to my God-that He sees the big picture. God sees the when, the how....the things that are already in the works and He knows my future. And, oh what a difference a year makes!
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Yep, you know the story-I now carry a baby boy in my arms! At the time of the 1st picture the Lord had already put Klayton in my tummy and in that picture I was probably only 2 weeks along in my pregnancy and I had no clue at the time. Now when I look back I can see that I had pregnancy symptoms-I just had no clue at the time what they were! Sometimes when were in the middle of the battle, whether it be infertility, death, cancer, job loss or whatever its hard to relinquish our desires and just give it all over to God-its hard to sacrifice our pain for praise. I look back and its so easy for me to now say, I'm thankful for what God brought me through. I just pray that next time, I learn to give up my ideas and plans a lot sooner than I did with desires for a baby!

Quick Update

So, currently we are in Mariposa, California! Mariposa seems to be a tourist town as its just an hour outside Yosemite National Park. Joseph, Klayton and I walked the downtown shops yesterday and they all seemed to have the New Age feel to them-I really hate the scent of incense burning. Yuck.
Tomorrow its off to Bakersfield for the week, were going to be using a prophets chamber for the week. It will be great to kick back for the week and not have to travel. I am hoping to find some time to scrap book, I brought Klayton’s baby book along with me! I am also looking forward to not having to be in the van for long periods of time-I’m still trying to get back into the groove of traveling.
The last two churches we have been in have treated us wonderfully! This past Wednesday, the church in Ventura spoiled us with a gift basket and even spoiled Klayton with his own gift basket! A gift basket for Klayton was really special to us as that was the first church to think of Klayton in that way! The basket was filled with blocks, pajamas, bibs, socks and onesies!
Can I just admit that being on a diet is not all that fun? I am thinking about the Milky Way candy bar that’s in the vending machine…I had one yesterday and it was so fresh and good! Ahh! I really would like to get one tonight; but I know if I am going to stay on track I need to say no…its hard to withstand the pressure of knowing something tastes so good!
Well, life is more interesting to talk about when I am posting about Klayton! Oh well, I hope I didn’t bore you to much!

People to Meet

Over the past couple of weeks back on the road we have been very busy introducing Klayton to his great grandparents! We have also been back on the road for meetings; but that’s probably a minute detail in the eyes of the great grandparents and grandparents!
Klayton meeting my Grandma and Grandpa Collins! I think they were in heaven on earth with him at their house! Every night before bed Klayton would lay with my grandma and watch decorating shows-it was SO cute because he stayed wide awake during the shows!



While at my grandparents he also met my Aunt Lynette who shares his birthday, October 21st! And Aunty and Jim, Aunty is technically my mom’s aunt; but I have grown up knowing her as Aunty!



From my grandparents it was off to our 1st meeting in Martinsville, Indiana! Klayton did so well, probably better than mommy! I was still recovering from an infection that had taken me to acute care, wouldn’t let me sleep and gave me a notorious back ache-ugh. Thankfully, I seem to be on the mend!
We then headed to Michigan for Thanksgiving week! Klayton met his Great Grandma and Grandpa Barnhardt!



And here is a 4 generation shot of the Barnhardt Men!


Now were heading home for the month of December! Praying for a good day of travel and for safety on the roads!